You know how in the last post I said I hoped September would be fun? Well… it was anything but. I guess that’s what I get for setting my expectations sky high, being that usually things start to look up around this time. Anyway, let’s just get to it. This’ll be a bit of a shorter post than usual, since I don’t have a ton to say.

Because we’re right at the start of spring, my nose hasn’t been too happy. I bought some tissues, but I ran out of them far quicker than normal. And no, I haven’t taken my allergy pills… I have no excuse. Today I decided to do it, and I am feeling a lot better, though I am still slightly congested. There was a time this month where I almost ended up with a fever, I felt some shivers but it was all short lived. I can’t tell if it was a cold or not.

Aside from that, I’ve also had to care for my sister, and it’s really tiring. More so than it used to be, since she always wants me to do things with her. I’m really not well equipped to deal with children, I end up feeling really drained once the day ends. I could get my grandma to come and look after her, but I dunno, I feel bad doing that. I barely have time to do anything during the day like I used to, so I can only really go out during weekends.

Work has gone alright overall, but I can’t help but feel like I’m just not good enough at times. I have been able to do the tasks I’ve been assigned, though I face a lot more roadblocks than I’d like, which I often blame on my lack of experience. I should probably look up more tutorials and rewatch that course I did last year. But I don’t know, I wished I had the level of skill that my teammates have. It’s a wonder I haven’t been fired despite not being that good at what I do. I don’t know what I’m saying, I just don’t feel happy at work. But I also don’t really wanna quit, with how awful the job market is at the moment.

My brother still isn’t doing great and hasn’t wanted to go to school. In fact, he only went like, once or twice this month. As such, my mom’s been trying to take him to therapy, which has been a lot harder than we’d like. I don’t know what to do about it either, since I assume the problem has to do with school, and since my depression as a teen had little or nothing to do with school. During college there were a few times where I almost gave up, but in the end I never really did. So I don’t know. It’s all super complicated.

I haven’t really done much of note this month, overall. I have been playing some games on my Switch, but that’s about as interesting as things got for me. I did order some things from Japan that I’m hoping will arrive sometime in October, and hopefully I’ll get to see my friend next month as well. Anything that keeps me from completely losing it is very much appreciated.

Even the national holidays were kinda lame, as one of the days off was during a Saturday. I did go to my aunt’s house like last year, and yes I did eat a lot as you might expect. I did have fun, though I somehow fell on my ass twice on the same day, to the point where my body was in pain for a few more days after that. My brother didn’t come though, as he hadn’t slept enough the day before. There was also this red haired girl I had never seen before, apparently everyone there knew her, but I didn’t.

The day after, we went to visit my uncle’s new house, which was a half hour drive from my house. It was pretty cool seeing the new place and the neighborhood around it. I was also surprised by the amount of stores and other things, it was a part of the city I had never visited before. It does make me wish I could have my own home, but I’m still far away from that ever happening. And I really don’t want to deal with rent and landlords… fuck that.

In general, I haven’t been able to rest very well. I get that this month is all about celebrations, but man, it pisses me off that I can’t have a single quiet Saturday. I know I always complain about people who party at night, but for real, it is really annoying. I hate people who can’t think of others around them, fuck them, fuck them all. If I could do something about it, that’d be awesome. Like screwing over their speakers or something, although I’m not too sure about the legality of doing that.

First of all, the plushies.

Next, the toy cars…

Here’s something a bit different. This is a Sony Dream Machine, model ICF-C8WM. It’s a clock radio with a fun twist, it allows you to connect either a Walkman or a Sony Ericsson phone through the ports it has. While it’s not in perfect shape, it does works fine and the speaker sounds pretty decent.

I didn’t find a lot of physical media this time, only a single cassette. This is “Whenever You Need Somebody” by Rick Astley, from 1987. Yes, I got instantly Rick Rolled by putting this on my Walkman lol. It plays fine though, and it’s in great shape overall.

Finally, the gadgets. Not too many of them this time, though.

• Samsung Galaxy S7 (2016): Normally I don’t get a ton of stuff from after 2015, but I found this one for very cheap. The S7 was a pretty cool phone back then, it’s a lot like the S6 but it has water resistance and a microSD card slot. This one isn’t in the worst shape overall and it’s fully functional, although the battery doesn’t last for long, the screen is cracked and has a lot of burn in. Maybe one day I’ll replace those, if I can find cheap replacements that is.
• Nokia Internet Stick CS-18 (2010): Two of them, cause why not. These are USB modems that allow you to connect to the internet using 3G networks, I just didn’t know Nokia made them too. They’re in pretty good shape and they do work. They also have a slot for SD cards, which is interesting.
• BlackBerry Bold 9000 (2008): Now, I already had one of these, but it had some issues. I ended up getting another one, and after mixing parts around, I ended up with a pretty good looking unit. Interestingly, this particular phone was made in Canada, whereas the one I had was from Mexico.
• BlackBerry Pearl 8100 (2006): Another BlackBerry for the collection, this one’s a lot more compact by comparison. I’ve been wanting to find one for quite a while, and this is the best condition one I’ve been able to find. Unfortunately I don’t know if it works, as I don’t have a battery for it.
• SanDisk Sansa e130 (2006): A little MP3 player from the mid 2000s. It accepts SD cards but it also has internal storage. This one works just fine and it’s in okay shape. Interestingly, the back says it’s a “refurb”… no idea what that means.
• iAudio G3 (2004): And here’s another little MP3 player, this one comes from Korea. It does work, although the headphone jack has a few problems. I also find it amusing how it says “color sound” on the front… how can sound have color?
• Nokia N-Gage QD (2004): Finally, this has been a personal want of mine for quite a while. The N-Gage was Nokia’s attempt at making a handheld game system to compete with the Game Boy Advance. But it had a lot of problems, and in the end it just didn’t stand a chance against Nintendo. This is an improved version known as the QD, which has a more ergonomic design, an external card slot and nicer buttons. It works fine, although it’s not in the greatest condition.

September sucked, full stop. It was so stressful and mentally I’m just so drained, I don’t feel like socializing like I wanted to, and I feel really discouraged at work because I just don’t think I’m skilled enough. I might be right on the edge of collapsing from how stressful things currently are. I’m trying my best to keep it together, but I don’t know for how much longer I can keep this up.

I’m not going to expect anything from October, although I do have a few things to look forward to, at least. I’m getting things shipped from Japan, so hey. It’s far from my favorite month if I’m being honest, so we’ll see what happens. I sure hope people don’t go around protesting like it happened 7 years ago, I feel like that whole saga did more harm than good.

I’m sorry if this post was a bit shorter, but like, I genuinely have little to say this month. I just want things to either get interesting or for things to pick back up for me. Give me a reason to feel excited, life. Please.

See you all in the next post.