The usual general nonsense<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Well, it could’ve been worse. Let’s first talk about my mood, this year it’s been all over the damn place, what can I say. I never truly felt super happy or at ease, and I sometimes got anxious thinking about things like work or friends. I felt rather uncertain and lost at times, even if on the outside things seem stable. By far my lowest point this year was around July\/August where I was having suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I just don’t feel like I’m good enough, and it makes me wonder if I even want to keep living. But I have to remind myself that I have reasons to live, and that those thoughts are, well, just thoughts. Despite that, I somehow felt better than last year, which in all honesty I still feel it’s one of the worst years I’ve had this decade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Family life has remained stable, I’d say. I am becoming more patient with my sister, and my mom seems more than content that I’m slowly but surely becoming more independent. If anything, it’s what she wants for me, or at least that’s what I think. I didn’t have too many problems with my family, although yes, I am still annoyed that my mom’s ex continues to come over, he annoys me so much. And he annoys my mom as well, she’s told me several times that she doesn’t like him coming over either. Until we don’t get rid of his furniture and appliances, he’ll continue to stay here. So I want to help my mom this year in that sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also finally set up a new shelf after the last one had to be taken apart, since I got my own room at the end of last year. I may as well show you what that looks like now, just so you can get an idea of how full it is now. Yes, I do need to tidy up here and there, I can’t quite cram more things in here however I want.<\/p>\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/IMG_0673-scaled.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nSo… yeah, despite what I mentioned, I don’t feel the worst ending this year, but at the same time, I want to pretend like some things never happened at all. I also decided I wanted my long hair gone, so I trimmed it… with mixed results. I think I’ll just go to a hair salon soon so I can get it fully sorted. My cat has also experienced a few health issues, so now she’s under a treatment for fleas and such. And because the weather has been so strange this year, she’s shedding her fur later than usual. But she’s doing alright, all things considered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I should care more about my health<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
If there was one thing that wasn’t so great for me this year, was my health. My body has experienced some truly strange things, at the start of the year for instance, I had a day where I was peeing a lot and then the next, it felt as if something was obstructing my urinary tract. That thankfully only lasted a day, although I’m still not sure how or why that happened in the first place. But that wasn’t fun at all, I’m telling you. I ended up going to the doctor about it months later, and after getting some tests done, they determined I was fine after all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another weird thing is that I get startled super easily now, any noise is enough to scare me. I also get this strange tingling sensation around my body whenever I’m exposed to heat or if I’m doing physical activity, I’m not sure what’s up with that and I’m afraid to look it up online. And my body sometimes gets really itchy out of nowhere, it’s sometimes so uncomfortable that it even itches down there. I am a bit hesitant to go to the doctor about it, because I feel like I’m just gonna be told I’m healthy again, even though something is clearly going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So during January I will be going to the doctor, I also need to get my eyes checked, and then I’ll go to the dentist since I haven’t done so since 2018… embarrassing, I know. In general, I just need to get my health sorted and I hope I don’t have anything serious or terminal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Work, work, work…<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Oh man, work this year has been far from uneventful or boring. As usual, the year started off a bit slow, being that everyone’s on vacation. At the end of January, I had a meeting with my higher-ups, and I was super sleepy and barely able to function that day. But what was important is that they praised me for my labor and I was finally given a raise, hell, they even said enough time had passed for that to be warranted. I never really saw my work as being tremendously impressive, but I’m glad that my bosses do like what I do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During the year I was given multiple challenges I had to solve, mostly on the websites we host and maintain. Some of those things were minor, like perhaps changing layouts or designs here and there. Others were more involved, like creating new versions of some of those websites or changing how certain things work, which often requires a lot of research and\/or lots of trial and error. Perhaps the biggest challenge for me was trying to wrap my head around Vue.js, which is this framework that has taken off these past few years, and my boss wants me to work more closely with the rest of the team. I accepted, and while completing the course was a pain (the last two sections were very outdated, for one), I did get there and I need to put it in practice. So we’ll see what I do there, I don’t have a lot of faith in myself though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And of course, we had our annual meeting back in September. That was fun, and we got to do a lot together. I talked about this more in my September post, but I enjoyed the meeting overall. Although I will say it’s strange to see my coworkers in a non-work context, I dunno. Overall though, I’d say work went okay in 2025, despite some of the setbacks I experienced here and there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The not-so-social butterfly<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
One of the goals I wanted to achieve this year was making friends in person, as I have gotten rather frustrated meeting people online. For the last few years I have struggled to meet people in general, online I often find that my relationships barely last more than a few months, or both parties lose interest after a while. And in person, well, I don’t have a lot of spaces where I can talk to people, in college I encountered too many folks that were way outside of my age range. You might be wondering if I can talk to my coworkers, but I dunno, nobody there really gets my interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tried going outside of my comfort zone by trying to talk to folks in places I frequent. There was this cashier girl at a Japanese place I frequent, there was a time where we saw each other often enough that we’d even ask each other how we were doing. I even tried doing a bit of small talk, trying to get to know her more. I eventually found out she was in her early 30s, which did surprise me since I swear she looked younger. Unfortunately, after July I never saw her again, and I do wonder about her whereabouts to this day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then in August, I decided to go to a Red Velvet themed meeting thing, that being a K-pop group that used to be popular years ago. I went in thinking I’d get to interact with people with the same interests, but I very quickly realized it wasn’t like that at all. Everyone came in groups and there was zero interaction between them. I ended up just getting a coffee and just looked at my phone during the entire event. It was one of the most miserable and lonely experiences I’ve had in my life, and I was extra frustrated by the time I left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then this month, one of my friends decided to cut things off with me, which was a long time coming anyway, as I also felt like things between us had gone downhill quickly this year. But honestly, it was for the best. Despite the frustration I felt when it happened, I am feeling better about it now and it’s not worth being upset over it. So… yeah, I began this year with a clear goal, and I ended up with one less friend. Whoops. Needless to say, my friend making quest was a total failure, and I’ll have to explore other options going forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despite my failures, I’m honestly happy that I’ve at least progressed in the social area. I do feel satisfied overall, I can at least say I tried, and I’m hoping I can use this experience to make friends. I do want to trying socializing online, although I am a bit scared of getting too close to anybody. And I also need to become less picky too, that’s an issue I’ve had for years by now…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Collecting, or rather, I lack restraint<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
If this year was good for anything, well, let’s just say I went a bit crazy with the collecting this year. I continued to buy all sorts of things this time, the usual collectibles, toy cars, all sorts of different phones, plushies and even some game consoles. The fact that I got a raise at work certainly helped me get all these things, but man, I often doubt whether or not I have any restraint, sheesh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, here are some of my favorite items I obtained this year:<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have finally arrived at the end of 2025. It wasn’t a terrible year for me, compared to 2024 at least. Last year felt like for every one step forward I’d take, I’d go two steps back. I couldn’t have a lot of good moments without something stupid getting in the way, which honestly really pissed me off. And then December came, where I ended up cutting up my hand by accident, so y’know, great. 2025 on the other hand felt like a more typical year for me, in the sense that at least some<\/em> things have remained stable, with the occasional annoying moments. There were a lot of times where I would feel really down and uncertain about my life or the things around me, but I still somehow managed to make things work. I want to believe I’m in a better spot than I could’ve hoped for when I began this decade. Of course, things aren’t perfect and there’s so much I need to work on, professionally and personally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So while I don’t expect 2026 to be my year, I do at least hope I can continue to evolve and eventually go further beyond. I really need to take care of myself more, as I feel like I’ve neglected myself for long enough by now. I’m on my mid 20s, I don’t have much of an excuse no more. To think I’m also just about to turn 26, sheesh. It’s been almost a decade since I graduated from high school, back then I wasn’t worrying about anything beyond going to college. Hell, back then, I wasn’t even sure if I was gonna live past my twenties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And of course, my blog will continue to be my primary outlet for sharing my thoughts and all that jazz. I still believe there’s value in having a place to express myself, even if not a lot of people read these things. And to those who do, well, thank you. I won’t promise a lot of posts beyond the monthly ones, but I am hoping you guys find my nonsense mildly interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With that all said, I can finally wrap up this year. See you all next year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s over, finally. It wasn’t an easy year to get through, but I can at least say I’ve survived. I don’t really know how to feel about how it all went, there’s so much that happened and I’m still trying to process it all. I feel like I’m gonna be thinking about everything for a …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-just-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1102"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1116,"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions\/1116"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poble.cl\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\nThis year wasn’t all bad<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n